On Jami Breese's "Crucial Conversations" notes.

10/24/2016

Self-help, leadership, and motivational literature is all about getting out of ruts and expressing yourself authentically. Much like religious devotional literature, they all riff off of the same sorts of human truths. Also like devotional literature, what you connect with is often more a matter of tone than content.

I like these pithy outlines that I found on Pinterest today. They appear to be outlines from a "Crucial Conversations" workshop that Jami Breese put together in a creative and accessible manner. These notes have piqued my interest in Crucial Conversations, so I'll be keeping an eye out for potential future workshops.

I'm going to go through a couple of the ideas that I like here. Since it seems like the outlines are each in a specific order, I'll follow that order myself.

Sketch 1: #crucialconversations steps 1 & 2

This sketch makes me think of the following:

"How did you get your way as a child?" Well, I imagine I sulked, considering how sulky I can be today. This is not a good thing. My sulking is one of the behaviors that I believe most exasperated my wife over the years. I need to learn how to assert myself and stand up to people without falling into a sulk.
"Unbundle with CPR: Content, Pattern, Relationship." I don't really get what the diagram shows, but I like how it ends at "relationship." I can't imagine much that doesn't. Despite all of my most difficult characteristics, I'd like to think that I always try to end at relationship. It doesn't mean I know how to get there, though. So perhaps I need to figure out what "pattern" and "content" are in order to get to the "relationship" part more effectively.
"Unhealthy motives:"

Sketch 2: #crucialconverations steps 3 & 4

"Separate facts from stories:" This is one of the main tasks I try to do with my students. All of us, myself included of course, create stories out of disparate facts and patterns, and then we have trouble interpreting those facts from patterns. It can be a serious problem for perception when our stories and facts get too intertwined.
"The Downward Spiral:" I don't get this image. I guess you can spiaral out of control into a role, into either a villain, a victim, or a helpless? Not sure about this.
"Form a mentor network:" I am extremely averse to mentorship. Therefore, it's likely something I need if I'm going to get myself out of this rut.

Sketch 3: #crucialconversations steps 5 & 6

"Silence=Withholding, Violence=compelling others:" Never thought of it that way. I'll have to check that out with my students.
"1: Step out of the Content, 2: Rebuild Safety, 3: Step Back In:" That's the sort of mantra I should have beside my desk. Many students come from broken homes and certainly do not feel safe in their lives. I like the idea of making sure the content I teach and the safety of the classroom are separate ideas. This could also be a good way to deal with some parenting issues, especially since home life is often too complex to really separate content from feelings.
"Respect is like air: You don't notice until it's not there--then it's all you notice." Ooo.... that's totally true. I can see call-out culture fans making memes out of that. (probably worth a separate post.)
"Contrast is a blue ribbon skill:" Comparison can be the enemy of moving forward because comparing often involves saying one thing is "better" than another. Contrasting, however, doesn't necessitate value judgements. I think?

Sketch 4: #crucialconversations steps 7, 8, & 9

"CRIB:" good parenting and group leadership plan. I'll look into it more.
"Lecture is a form of attack:" Which is why I've tried (and often failed) to stop using lectures as a communication technique.

I've printed off a few copies of these for my classroom so I can keep them on hand. Perhaps I'll post them to my filing cabinet with all my other resources. And then, once I get this apartment fully set-up, once the girls are settled in their new place, I'll be able to pick up the book and possibly try to adopt some of this. Maybe just one of them. Maybe just one.

Because I'm a dork and I have two whiteboards to put up in my home so I can lay out these ideas and try to get my life back on track. Because, as much as I'd like to deny it, I'm likely a teacher through and through.

0 Comments