• EPK
  • Blog: ideas and updates.
  • Music services.
    • Live.
    • Video.
  • Photography services.
  • EPK Spark
JEFFREY NORDSTROM

Still a stigma?

5/31/2018

0 Comments

 
https://jeffnords.tumblr.com/post/174438961416/two-godzillas-talk-to-each-other-by-paul-noth
I think it might be time to get back on the antidepressants. I've been on them before and I haven't taken any for quite a few years, but I think it's time to get back for a bit.

I've been trying to do the things I've been told to do: I've been physically active, running and hiking; I've been pursuing my interests by playing music, trying to record music & trying to take interesting pictures; I've been visiting friends and family who love me and whom I love in return; I've been trying to get out there in the world and talk with people in public; I've been trying out new activities, like camping and spending time at the gym; I've varied my responsibilities at work, even joining up with the school's Pro-D committee.

However, I'm still having trouble climbing out of this hole. Usually Spring lifts my spirits a bunch, but right now it's just not happening. Despite the list above, I'm also doing a lot of laying around, I'm barely able to focus at work, and I'm not really enjoying anything I've been doing. I haven't been calling people to chat. I think the symptoms point pretty directly to depression.

And, as much as I've tried to deal with it myself, my doctor agrees.

In such progressive circles as my own, it's not supposed to be a stigma to take antidepressants. In fact, people seem to laud those who admit to taking antidepressants. In the popular media, Mental Health Awareness Days are legion and it's supposed to be something we can talk about and articulate. On social media, people vulnerable enough to admit to taking antidepressants seem to be lauded as "brave" in their respective networks.

But the stigma's there in spite of it. I, for example, have been checking job boards while simultaneously thinking about taking antidepressants, fearing that admitting it will reflect poorly on my to prospective employers. It's a little nerve-wracking. Am I brave for taking them, or am I unstable? I can't quite tell.

But I also dislike the idea of taking antidepressants in the first place. Running, doing activities you love, visiting with friends, etc.. it should be enough. But for now it isn't. I can go for a run, but my brain still spins as soon as I stop; I can play guitar, but my sessions get shorter and shorter. My current methods, myriad as they are, haven't been working, no matter what I think. I may not like taking antidepressants, but it's probably in my best interest that I do.

There's one catch here, of course. The dominant feature of my life is my kids, and they live ever so far away right now. We're still sorting that out. And although I might be able to move closer one day, the "limbo" I'm in right now is nothing short of dominant in my mind. This separation/divorce process is exhausting to say the least. No amount of endorphins from a 10km run can distract my brain from trying to compensate for that distance, for this separation.

So perhaps it's time to get a little bit of a pick-me-up from some antidepressants. Perhaps that's a little bit fair.
0 Comments

Smartphones and parenting.

5/28/2018

0 Comments

 
https://jeffnords.tumblr.com/post/169475332646/smartphones-and-the-abdication-of-parental
I have a certain obsession with my relationship with smartphones. I love it but hate it; I avoid it but it fills up my time way too much. 

We gave our eldest child a smartphone back in 2014 or so. They use it a lot. It's the main way that I'm able to communicate with my kids right now.

But I also feel like it's taken over their life. And this article points out the deeper problem... that I've let the smartphone do parenting for me. That's where my sense of guilt comes from.

​That's all.
0 Comments

Old.

5/23/2018

0 Comments

 
A couple weeks ago, while I was working out at the gym, I really messed up my shoulder. It was painful enough that I missed a day and a half at work. I've gone to a few chiropractor appointments and am taking physio to take care of it as much as I can. I finally talked with my doctor yesterday and he identified it as my deltoid muscle. I think. To be honest, I can barely remember, even though I've been to all these specialists. I still haven't memorized my muscle groups enough to talk about them.

A couple years ago, I expressed to my sister-in-law that I don't get sick very often. I think we were talking about sick days. She told me that my brother also was like that, but as he's gotten older he's gotten sick more often. And I thought, Hmm... 9 years' difference... I got time.

But apparently I don't. I've most certainly gotten sick more often this year. Enough that I empathized far too much with the following stand-up routine from CBC radio:
https://jeffnords.tumblr.com/post/174187687146/httpwwwcbccaradiolaughoutlouda-royal-birthd
It's funny, though, just how much my stupid shoulder messed with my ability to do basic things:
  • I couldn't hold a guitar and had to sit down for my weekend gigs at the restaurant.
  • I couldn't run because it shook around too much.
  • I couldn't mark papers because when I'd look down at desk, it would hurt.
  • I couldn't plan or mark at school effectively because I kept on getting distracted by the pain.
  • I couldn't sleep more than a couple hours a night because there was no comfortable position to lay down in and the pain would wake me up.
It's a minor injury and it's getting better every day, but it affected my entire lifestyle. Just a stupid shoulder-machine-workout injury. As a non-athlete, this stupid, little injury affected me quite a bit. I guess we all need wake-up calls about over-pushing ourselves now and then.

If anything, it's a reminder that I'm getting old and need to take care of myself. This was another strange thing about it: I don't have a partner/sounding board to tell me to get to treatment when I should. Instead, I waited until things were bad enough that I couldn't sleep at all, bad enough that I couldn't work. It's strange to need to take care of myself completely this way. I am going to need to learn how to be more comfortable with my own body, in my own skin, if I'm going to get by successfully as a bachelor.

Fortunately, last night I did my first run since the injury. It felt good, even if I ran really, really slowly. But it's good to get my body working again.
https://jeffnords.tumblr.com/post/174169725641/first-run-since-the-sun-run-considering-the
One step at a time.
0 Comments

On the TEDization of education.

5/23/2018

0 Comments

 
A couple weeks ago, I finished listening to Sir Ken Robinson's The Element. The book acts as an accessible educational treatise and claims  that we need to do better at preparing students for an unknowable future, one without a priority on standardized tests.

I can generally run with that. Standardized tests don't mean much beyond a student's ability to do that test that day; the breakdown of academic subjects is archaic and does not reflect the slushy reality of day-to-day living. 

But I find the book's emphasis on "breaking the mold" a little... lacking. The overall tone seemed to reflect a direction in education that concerns me a little: I call it "TEDizeation." 

TEDization refers to catering to the ideals that people see in TED talks. TED talks are popular, but not necessarily good. TED creates a false equivalence between the presenter and the research, and prioritizes inspiration over substance. People come out of these talks feeling good, but they don't necessarily carry the nuance needed for lasting change. I feel like The Element fits in that cookiecutter, insofar as it prioritizes passion, despite the ease by which our passions are misguided. It's not wrong... but it's artificial.
On You Are Not So Smart, a recent episode (embedded above) highlighted how our notions of the "self" change how we act like "fully realized" individuals. I've embedded it above. It's a good supplement to The Element, since Robinson's book comes off as highly self-indulgent. But I'll likely post more on that later.

But until then, I'd just like to exercise some caution about feeling like TED ideals are the ideals we want to imbue students with. 
0 Comments
    Musician.
    Teacher.
    ​Photographer.

     jeffnords ONLINE:
    Bandcamp
    Facebook
    Instagram
    ​SoundCloud
    YouTube: Music+

    jeffnords PLACEHOLDERS:
    (infrequent haunts)
    Amazon | DailyMotion
    DeviantArt | Duolingo | Flickr | FVRL | Kik
    LinkedIn | MeetUp | MySpace | Pinterest |
    ​
    Playstation | Reddit | ​Snapchat
    Spotify | The Internet Archive
    ​Tinder | Tumblr | Twitter | Vimeo | VK | WattPad
    WeChat 

    Archives

    March 2023
    January 2023
    October 2022
    September 2022
    July 2022
    January 2022
    December 2021
    June 2021
    April 2021
    June 2020
    April 2020
    January 2020
    November 2019
    October 2019
    August 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    April 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014
    February 2014
    January 2014
    November 2013
    October 2013
    August 2013
    July 2013
    May 2013
    March 2013
    February 2013

    Categories

    All
    Academics
    Acting
    Activism
    Adulthood
    Agency
    Albums
    Animals
    Animated Films
    Atheism
    Books
    Camping
    Canadiana
    Christian Culture
    Comics
    Community
    Community Theatre
    Concerts
    Covers
    Creativity
    Critical Thinking
    Current Events
    Daily Grind
    Demos
    Depression
    Digital Life
    Dogs
    Driving
    Education
    Effect Pedals
    Effects
    Empathy
    Energy
    Environment
    Events
    Exploring
    Family
    Feminism
    Film Photography
    Fitness
    Food
    Friendship
    Frivolous
    Gadgets
    Games
    Gigs
    Guitar
    Guitar Effects
    Hexanon
    Hockey
    Home
    Ideas
    Ideology
    Influence
    Jam Session
    Langauge
    Leadership
    Lectures
    Lenses
    Links
    Literature
    Live Action Films
    Live Music
    Long Term Planning
    Magnetic Poetry
    Mental Health
    Mobile Phone
    Money
    Music
    Musicians
    Music Videos
    Networking
    Nostalgia
    Objectification
    Once And Over Again
    Parenting
    Performance
    Photography
    Photos
    Podcasts
    Poetry
    Policy
    Politics
    Pop Culture
    Puppets
    Quirks
    Rants
    Recording
    Reflections
    Relationships
    Religion
    Reviews
    Rhodes
    Ruins
    Running
    Science
    Self Help
    Selfies
    Serendipity
    Sexuality
    Shakespeare
    Short Films
    Skeptihumanism
    Social Media
    Songwriting
    Spirituality
    Stage
    Stories
    Studio Recordings
    Subcultures
    Teaching
    Technology
    Theatre
    Travel
    University
    Updates
    Urban Life
    Video
    Visual
    Wildlife
    Workshops
    Writing

    RSS Feed

Contact Jeffrey

Photos used under Creative Commons from Brett Jordan, b r e n t
  • EPK
  • Blog: ideas and updates.
  • Music services.
    • Live.
    • Video.
  • Photography services.
  • EPK Spark