• EPK
  • Blog: ideas and updates.
  • Music services.
    • Live.
    • Video.
  • Photography services.
  • EPK Spark
JEFFREY NORDSTROM

Narcissist?

1/4/2016

0 Comments

 
For a multitude of reasons, my brain has been full of thoughts of mental health over the last few months. I've attended a few sessions with a counsellor, read loads of articles, bought a book, and generally tried to practice a few mindfulness techniques. I've tried to create little pieces of expression, even thought I haven't been able to make any music. My life's ridiculous busyness has not been aided by my hopefulness, and some of those hope-based decisions have damaged friendships and integrity. My capacity for hope has cost me dearly. It's been a rough go.

As I've tried to address my own mental anguish, I've sought out a answers to my various issues. Most prominent on my brain as of late has been the question of my own possible Narcissism. Am I a Narcissist? Is my worldview debilitatingly myopic because I think I'm better than everyone?
http://jeffnords.tumblr.com/post/136608243156/630am-first-morning-after-the-holidays-i-am-not
To be honest, I haven't got a clear answer. And without a proper diagnosis, how would I know? But that doesn't stop me from trying to find out. Although I look forward to talking to a therapist soon, for the time being I have to settle with my own folk diagnoses.

I started by learning a little about covert and overt Narcissism. I am most certainly not an overt Narcissist. So I could rule that one out. But covert Narcissism? That's a little harder to pin down.

I read some articles, like this one and this one. ​I took this quiz:

OK. I'm not one. Phew. | 23 Signs You’re Secretly a Narcissist Masquerading as a Sensitive Introvert https://t.co/BaWcBKr5Vx #science

— Jeffrey Nordstrom (@jeffnords) December 28, 2015
And although each of these came out pretty negative, I still have my doubts. I still feel like a really self-centred person. At this point, I knew I was confused enough to leave it alone until I could get a professional diagnosis of some sort.

Until this morning. I listened to the following brand-spanking-new episode of CBC's Tapestry. Usually I avoid the show because it's fluffy. However, since Narcissism's been on my brain, I couldn't help but give it a listen.

Good topical episode in my life. Let's give this test a shot. | A Field Guide to the #Narcissist https://t.co/88zeVZjUYk @cbctapestry

— Jeffrey Nordstrom (@jeffnords) January 4, 2016
Listening to that episode led me to The Narcissist Quiz at Time​. 

I wonder if years of evangelical false humility skewed my score downwards. #narcissisttest https://t.co/Ci05JSnpsO pic.twitter.com/C0fnmdhjKH

— Jeffrey Nordstrom (@jeffnords) January 4, 2016
 So according to that quiz, I'm not a Narcissist. And according to the other one, I'm not a covert one either.

But, again, how would I know that I'm not a covert Narcissist? A wolf in sheep's clothing? Perhaps I've just learned to manipulate people; perhaps I've learned how not to express my Narcissism because it's never worked; perhaps all the failures of my life fall directly on my shoulders? Perhaps I'm just a careless, petulant man-child who bit off way more than he can chew? I mean, I was making selfies back in the days of film, long before front-facing cameras. Perhaps I just love myself too much?

But I don't. So I'm back at square one.

Perhaps I'm like this:
http://jeffnords.tumblr.com/post/136172630161/nothing-but-thinking-and-selfieing
Guess I gotta' get to therapy sooner than later.

My sister, when she couldn't handle Western life, moved to a convent. I don't think I have that sort of option. I have no choice but to make it through all this stuff.

​But I could sure use a break.
0 Comments



Leave a Reply.

    Musician.
    Teacher.
    ​Photographer.

     jeffnords ONLINE:
    Bandcamp
    Facebook
    Instagram
    Pinterest
    ​SoundCloud
    ​Tumblr
    Twitter
    YouTube: Music+
    ​​YouTube: ephemeral ideas

    jeffnords PLACEHOLDERS:
    (infrequent haunts)
    Amazon | DailyMotion
    DeviantArt | Duolingo | Flickr | FVRL | Kik
    LinkedIn | MeetUp | MySpace
    ​
    Playstation | Reddit | ​Snapchat
    Spotify | The Internet Archive
    ​Tinder | Vimeo | VK | WattPad
    WeChat 

    Archives

    June 2020
    April 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    August 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    April 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014
    February 2014
    January 2014
    November 2013
    October 2013
    August 2013
    July 2013
    May 2013
    April 2013
    March 2013
    February 2013

    Categories

    All
    4 Progress
    Academics
    Acting
    Activism
    Adulthood
    Agency
    Albums
    Animals
    Animated Films
    Atheism
    Books
    Camping
    Canadiana
    Christian Culture
    Comics
    Community
    Community Theatre
    Concerts
    Covers
    Critical Thinking
    Current Events
    Daily Grind
    Demos
    Depression
    Digital Life
    Dogs
    Driving
    Education
    Effect Pedals
    Effects
    Empathy
    Energy
    Environment
    Events
    Exploring
    Family
    Feminism
    Film Photography
    Fitness
    Food
    Friendship
    Frivolous
    Gadgets
    Games
    Gigs
    Guitar
    Guitar Effects
    Hexanon
    Hockey
    Home
    Ideas
    Ideology
    Influence
    Jam Session
    Langauge
    Leadership
    Lectures
    Lenses
    Links
    Literature
    Live Action Films
    Live Music
    Long Term Planning
    Magnetic Poetry
    Mental Health
    Mobile Phone
    Money
    Music
    Musicians
    Music Videos
    Networking
    Nostalgia
    Objectification
    Once And Over Again
    Parenting
    Performance
    Photography
    Photos
    Podcasts
    Poetry
    Policy
    Politics
    Pop Culture
    Puppets
    Quirks
    Rants
    Recording
    Reflections
    Relationships
    Religion
    Reviews
    Rhodes
    Ruins
    Running
    Science
    Self Help
    Selfies
    Serendipity
    Sexuality
    Shakespeare
    Short Films
    Skeptihumanism
    Social Media
    Songwriting
    Spirituality
    Stage
    Stories
    Studio Recordings
    Subcultures
    Teaching
    Theatre
    Travel
    University
    Updates
    Urban Life
    Video
    Visual
    Wildlife
    Workshops
    Writing

    RSS Feed

Contact Jeffrey

Photos used under Creative Commons from Brett Jordan, b r e n t
  • EPK
  • Blog: ideas and updates.
  • Music services.
    • Live.
    • Video.
  • Photography services.
  • EPK Spark