I don't want to play solo anymore.

A couple Saturday nights ago, I played live at a private fundraising dinner. I practiced quite a bit and had a pretty good set lined up, or so I thought.

When the time came to play, once again I forgot words to songs, mixed up my verses, and generally screwed up. I felt humiliated.

I'm tired of this.

So I'm done with performing live on my own. It just doesn't work. If I can't remember lyrics right after all these years, it's not going to happen.

So I asked my wife/partner if she'd like to accompany me, and she said "Yes," and this makes me happy.

All in all, it's a matter of shifting my focus. I've been told by many people that my music is quite band-driven. I've always wanted to be a singer-songwriter, but I don't think I really fit with the mold. I'm not introspective enough to fit the singer-songwriter label. I play rock and roll and love to make music that keeps people happy.

I think I need to reach deep into the dregs of my upbringing and remember the types of music with which I've been most successful through my live: as a bassist in post-rock bands or the leader in worship and praise bands.

• As a bassist/secondary vocalsist in a few post-rock groups, my style worked because I always sought to add meaning to a song through tone creation. I'd like to think that my ideas on bass helped other bandmembers play better.
• As a worship and praise leader, I encouraged musicians to play to their strengths and have a good time. In a realm as needlessly complicated as leading worship and praise music, it is important to give musicians freedom while keeping the audience's best interests in check.

So I'm done with trying to do it all on my own. I need someone to help me with my cues; I need someone to talk with; I need someone to help me with the vocals. I can still arrange the music and keep my name in the forefront; I just need to let other people join up with me.

I'm looking forward to these adjustments to my direction.