Carol Dweck's Mindset: The New Psychology of SuccessWHY THIS BOOK? I've come to a point in my life where I've come in close contact with decisions to potentially "throw the baby out with the bathwater." I don't want to do that. I would prefer to grow and learn; I do not believe I have an inherently "fixed" mindset. I'd like to read this because it might give me some insight about the strategies I can use while I'm making such life-changing decisions. I'd like to see a "growth mindset" model and try to apply it to my relationships. Harriet Braiker's The Disease to Please: Curing the People-Pleasing SyndromeWHY THIS BOOK? As I noted a couple posts ago, I wouldn't be surprised if I suffer from a degree of "people-pleasing syndrome." I don't think it's extreme—I'm good at saying "no" to too much responsibility—but my desire to please everybody has certainly not boded well for some of the decisions I've made over the last year. Daniel Goleman's Emotional IntelligenceWHY THIS BOOK? I have struggled to assess whether I have any emotional intelligence at all. I don't seem to respond to events like I'm supposed to and I feel like I can't empathize with people as much as I could. Perhaps a primer in emotional intelligence is in order. Love, Dishonor, Marry, Die; Cherish, Perish: A Novel by David RakoffWHY THIS BOOK? Because it looks amazing. Rakoff's couplets, as much as I've heard, are astoundingly dense and entertaining. I'd love to read a novel's worth of them.
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I was really moved by this recent story on This American Life called "Just South of the Unicorns."
A teenager runs away from home to move in with someone he's never met, his idol, the person he respects most of all — a fantasy writer named Piers Anthony.
I was never a big sci-fi/fantasy fan. I escaped to non-fiction—history, curios, philosophy—instead. But I certainly understand the need to escape from your day-to-day reality, with the desire to reset the clock with some extended quietness with text.
I can't wait for the summer.
Over the last couple months, I haven't written much about music. I haven't had much time to think about music and even the band practices have waned in my busyness and lack of clearheadedness. I am not "thinking music" right now; between work, my schooling, my children, my partner, and various other relationships, I have little to no room to get passionate about music.
But I have written a couple times about my first wading steps into Marshall Rosenberg's Nonviolent Communication. So here are some of the resources I've been using. I first read about Nonviolent Communication when I first read More Than Two: A practical guide to ethical polyamory two summers ago. (Embedded below is the summary of NVC as described by Franklin Veaux and Eve Rickert).
To be honest, however, I didn't take it to heart two summers ago because I thought I was a good enough communicator. I mean, as a teacher I have to be a good communicator, amiright?
Apparently I'd self-deceived myself, however; when I have three different people in a three-month window send me to the same resource, you think I'd get the hint. So I'm doing my best to take the hint—despite my continuing busyness. And as my fits of anxiety around communicating my needs and desires have grown more frequent and humiliating, I think it worthwhile to do some deliberate self-help. As I posted last week, about a month ago I started working through the following workshop (below):
I'm now about halfways through this audio course (below), which I listen to on my walks and when I'm alone in the car.
So far, I feel an affinity to the program for a rather English teacherish reason: I appreciate its focus on behaviour and discouragement of lazy "to be" verbs. This might be a step 1.
A few posts ago, I concluded that I needed to re-read some Rilke. When I wrote it, I had wanted to post Phyllis Webb's poem about Rilke, but I wasn't at home and couldn't find it online. Here it is, although I admit I'm posting this without permission:
I reluctantly took this photo from a textbook, not one of my many Phyllis Webb books (see below). Unfortunately, the disorder of my life is clearly reflected in the disorder of my home, and I cannot access her books at the moment. "Rilke" by Phyllis Webb in 15 Canadian Poets x3, ed. Gary Geddes. Toronto: Oxford. 2001. 144.
My last entry, titled "Needs," highlighted my continuing efforts to identify my own needs after years of self-denial in the name of religion. I've been slowly working my way through this workshop about Marshall Rosenberg's NonViolent Communication method. This morning, when I started the video while doing the laundry, he talked a little about needs, and I listened.
Starting at 1:41:50:
The crazy thing is, however, that it still makes very little sense to me. I feel like I've been psychologically gypped (slurbedamned) out of an essential life skill. I am annoyed.
I need to read more fiction. Considering how much David James Duncan's The Brothers K helped me empathize with practically everybody, it's kind-of unnerving to think that I read so little fiction.
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April 2024
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