When I saw the choir stands in downtown Chilliwack on December 6, I had a mediocre brainstorm: sing the 12 Days of Christmas in different locations until Christmas, and post each day to Twitter. Twitter's videos max out at 30 seconds, so it would get progressively more difficult each day.
DAY 1: DOWNTOWN CHILLIWACK
DAY 2: DOWNTOWN HOPE
DAY 3: GUILDFORD MALL IN SURREY
DAY 4: AT AGASSIZ ELEMENTARY-SECONDARY SCHOOL
DAY 5: DOWNTOWN AGASSIZ
DAY 6: FERNWOOD IN VICTORIA
DAY 7: HIGHSTREET IN ABBOTSFORD
DAY 8: COTTONWOOD MALL IN CHILLIWACK
DAY 9: AT HOME IN CHILLIWACK
DAY 10: WALKING DOWN THE STREET IN CHILLIWACK
By the way, apparently Global News used this clip (above) in their newscast on Christmas Eve. They didn't tell me they were going to use it, nor did they even give it a "heart." So I don't know if they broadcasted it because they liked it or because they thought it was laughable. Thank you to my friends, however, who alerted me that I'd made the news.
DAY 11: IN THE LIVING ROOM IN CHILLIWACK
DAY 12: WALKING DOWN THE STREET IN CHILLIWACK
Happy holidays. I'm glad to have finally memorized the song... until next year.
Over the last couple months, I haven't written much about music. I haven't had much time to think about music and even the band practices have waned in my busyness and lack of clearheadedness. I am not "thinking music" right now; between work, my schooling, my children, my partner, and various other relationships, I have little to no room to get passionate about music.
But I have written a couple times about my first wading steps into Marshall Rosenberg's Nonviolent Communication. So here are some of the resources I've been using.
I first read about Nonviolent Communication when I first read More Than Two: A practical guide to ethical polyamory two summers ago. (Embedded below is the summary of NVC as described by Franklin Veaux and Eve Rickert).
To be honest, however, I didn't take it to heart two summers ago because I thought I was a good enough communicator. I mean, as a teacher I have to be a good communicator, amiright?
Apparently I'd self-deceived myself, however; when I have three different people in a three-month window send me to the same resource, you think I'd get the hint. So I'm doing my best to take the hint—despite my continuing busyness. And as my fits of anxiety around communicating my needs and desires have grown more frequent and humiliating, I think it worthwhile to do some deliberate self-help.
As I posted last week, about a month ago I started working through the following workshop (below):
I'm now about halfways through this audio course (below), which I listen to on my walks and when I'm alone in the car.
So far, I feel an affinity to the program for a rather English teacherish reason: I appreciate its focus on behaviour and discouragement of lazy "to be" verbs. This might be a step 1.
A few posts ago, I concluded that I needed to re-read some Rilke. When I wrote it, I had wanted to post Phyllis Webb's poem about Rilke, but I wasn't at home and couldn't find it online. Here it is, although I admit I'm posting this without permission:
I reluctantly took this photo from a textbook, not one of my many Phyllis Webb books (see below). Unfortunately, the disorder of my life is clearly reflected in the disorder of my home, and I cannot access her books at the moment. "Rilke" by Phyllis Webb in 15 Canadian Poets x3, ed. Gary Geddes. Toronto: Oxford. 2001. 144.
My last entry, titled "Needs," highlighted my continuing efforts to identify my own needs after years of self-denial in the name of religion. I've been slowly working my way through this workshop about Marshall Rosenberg's NonViolent Communication method. This morning, when I started the video while doing the laundry, he talked a little about needs, and I listened.
Starting at 1:41:50:
The crazy thing is, however, that it still makes very little sense to me. I feel like I've been psychologically gypped (slurbedamned) out of an essential life skill. I am annoyed.
Growing up as an evangelical Christian, religious forces regularly manhandled my "needs." I often heard lines like the following:
I have no idea what I need.
Really. I don't. I thought I needed God, but I don't; I thought I needed to maintain a close relationship with Jesus, but I don't; I thought I needed to answer to my faith in all things, but I don't.
I reiterate: I have no clue as to what I need.
I know what causes me anxiety: not feeling trusted; hurting people's feelings unnecessarily; working against my better judgement. But to twist those negative phrases into positive ones? To reframe my anxieties to active-voice needs? I just can't seem to do it.
Is it embarrassing for me to make it to 35 and to have no clue as to what I need?
And how am I supposed to battle through depression when I don't even know what needs to grasp for?
I've loved Sarah Slean's music for years, ever since I first saw the video for "Sweet Ones" on MuchMusic. But her music keeps getting better.
I've been singing "The Rose" to myself for the last year, but never bothered to look it up on YouTube. Apparently it garnered an emotive little video five years ago:
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