Response to The School of Life's "Why Instrospection Matters."

A dead-on video from The School of Life. 

This one from @TheSchoolOfLife is spot-on. Introspection matters. https://t.co/DlQV6VkZJT

— Jeffrey Nordstrom (@jeffnords) November 7, 2016

The video is based on this article from The Book Of Life. This passage is my favorite:

We apply the wrong medicine:

And finally, we might come up with unfounded, confused schemes to solve our pain. We may take to blaming our partner, the city we live in, the government or our employer. Rifling through the cabinet of cures, we pick a journey to the desert or a quick divorce, we decide to quit our job or sack someone. It can be hard not to inflict severe pain on ourselves or others when we don’t have an accurate handle on our agonies.

Fortunately, there is almost always information to hand about what is wrong, even if it doesn’t automatically make its way to our reasoning faculties. Our stream of consciousness contains a reservoir of muddled and instinct hints about our woes, which need to be gathered and decoded. The art of living is to a large measure dependent on an ability to locate our thorns accurately and in good time – so that we will not be forever condemned to suffer our symptoms and terrify strangers with our roars.

This section hits home to me, especially as I watch more and more relationships come to pieces around me, including, of course, my own relationship with my ex-wife. It's always a battle to refrain from senseless blame when we feel hurt; careful introspection can help us realize that the hurt we wield against those around us usually stems from problems deep within ourselves.

I appreciate how the School Of Life and Book Of Life folks seem well aware that our minds are far from tame, that we are by no means "rational animals." The baggage we carry with us can affect every part of our lives, no matter how much we fight against it. We mis-aim our solutions and choose misguided shortcuts that inevitably make life more difficult in the long run. We compromise where we shouldn't, and stay steadfast when we should compromise.

So with every marriage that crumbles, with every friendship that goes silent, I can't help but wonder at the hidden, mis-addressed thorns in each person's side, at the ways we've lashed out at those we love the most. It's terrifying when so many of my friends, so many of the people I love and respect the most, seem to be hurting so much.

At least we'll be keeping therapists in business.

I'm exhausted. I don't think I'm going to get to have any sort of routine until January. But lord I can't wait for that routine. I can't wait to get up in the morning and calmly prepare for my day, and to finish my schoolday with most of my daily tasks completed, to go home and do things for myself a little. I know that people say that you should be able to take care of yourself at any time, but right now there are a few too many commitments to use my time wisely. I'm having trouble keeping weight off, keeping up at work, keeping my few extra-curricular activities maintained, and keeping positive with my daughters. But a time will come when I'll finally be able to perform the introspection necessary to accurately identify and address the hidden thorns in my own self, and I look forward to it. 

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