My research project, the cornerstone of my Master's Degree in Educational Leadership, is due on April 1.
And my distraction is getting to me.
For the last four years, most of my spare brainspace has been dedicated to my Master's degree. I've read a lot of books, academic papers, and blog posts; I've taken numerous, nebulous classes; I've conversed with ambitious, driven leader-people. I have deliberately avoided creating things in order to leave room for this project. I am a terrible academic and these things take far more time than they should. The way I've been thinking for this project does not come naturally to me at all, and I'm starting to get squirrelly about it.
Most significantly, my brain and body are itching to create new things—videos, songs, photo art. I'm starting to feel a little bit of love for music again and a few musical ideas are trying to well from my insides. I want to make music again. I might even be getting an ounce of musical self-confidence back, which would be nice. I also miss visiting with people. My social life, for many reasons, has taken a crash and burn over the last few months. This paper, most certainly, has got int the way of doing many social things. I miss talking to people, meeting people, sharing intimate conversations, and trying to make a connection. But for now I have to focus on this project. I can't afford not to get it done. So it's time close the browser, even if this entry feels vapid and trite.
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September 2024
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