Summer is over and I'm back at work. I taught summer school to adults in August, the first time I'd ever taught adults, but I'm glad to be back into a regular routine. August was a difficult month, so I'm glad to have a fresh start.

I'm working as an Integration Support Teacher again, this year at one elementary school in Surrey. I'm the only IST at a small school and it's an enormous amount of work. Things appear to be going ok, somewhat, but it's a lot of responsibility and a lot of headwork. I'm finding it very hard to stay motivated with fitness and healthy eating. I need to get my body back into the zone of teaching after a rather inconsistent summer.

I'm coming into the new school year with the hopes to, if I have the self-confidence for it, apply to the administration pool for next year. I'd like to put this Master's in Education that I received back in 2016 to work. Life has been very busy since then, but I'm hoping that I'm in a place where I have the skills and experience to take on some new responsibilities.

Music and photography-wise, I'm feeling a little exhausted. It's difficult to focus on many of the small things that I used to enjoy doing: learning new songs, printing out new songs, writing and practicing, taking a drive to a good photography location. I don't really know what to do there. I've considered selling off a bunch of the portrait photography paraphernalia that I've acquired over the last five years: studio lights, softboxes, backdrops, etc.. All that stuff feels like a weight around my neck of sorts, stuff that says I should be able to use it more often, but I can't seem to get the energy to do it. 

Life is generally good, but I'd like something to pep me up.  That's all.

This weekend, I will be playing music for my girlfriend's sister's wedding. They want me to perform three songs throughout the ceremony: "I Wanna' Dance With Somebody," "I'll Come Running to Tie your Shoes," and "Let's Stay Together." 

I've had a devil of a time memorizing these songs. For "I Wanna' Dance With Somebody," the words and sequence kept going out of sync. Last weekend, I had set up some of the studio lights in the livingroom, so I decided to try to make a video, hoping some of the lyrics would sink in. 

Here's the raw, muddy result:

This was my first video I've made for a long time. I made a lot of mistakes. I should have made a basic 4/4 drum machine track to play along with, but I settled for a click track; as a result, I went out of time quite a few times. 

My uncle, a professional musician, says I should have had less distortion on the rhythm guitar. He's correct, but I do love the sound of those flatwound strings through some light distortion; there's something huge about the sound, something both warm and out of control.

Another friend offered to remix it for me. Perhaps I will take him up on the offer. 

Anyhow, there it is. Hopefully I've learned a few lessons for next time.

I've recently really enjoyed Pat Finnerty's "Why does this song stink" videos on YouTube. I love not only that he agrees with many of my biases about why certain songs "stink," but I also really appreciate the creativity by which he builds his videos. They are deliberately lo-fi with various basic animations and simple jump cuts. 

He's done excellent videos about "Hey Soul Sister,"  "Don't Tell me How to Live," and "All Summer Long," but his best tour de force so far is the "Kravitz Bowl," a hilarious hypothetical "football game between two bad songs."  

Finnerty's videos are wonderful if you have specific techno-culture-based taste in music. I think it's safe to say that most people who play guitar, really love pop music, dislike Train's music, found "Kryptonite" insufferable, or were bewildered by Warren Zevon's presence on "All Summer Long" will enjoy his videos. Finnerty's clear love of music and willingness to create in-depth videos about why some music doesn't quite work, well, I appreciate that effort. I remember first hearing Train songs, or "Kryptonite," or both Lenny Kravitz's "American Woman" and "Fly Away;" I thought, Something's wrong here. Something's off. And Pat Finnerty seems to be able to put into words just what's so off ​about that sort of corporate-driven bland music.

In addition, Finnerty appears to have a real knack for getting people involved in his videos. These videos are masterclasses in being friendly and inclusive with the people in your community, in making them feel connected to your projects. He appears to have a knack for getting people on board, even the likes of Dave Grohl. His empathic extroversion is seriously admirable.

Cheers, Pat.

I feel as if I'm suffering from a creative block right now, both in music and photography. I've gone through this sort of thing for a very long time, but it feels rather acute right now. I can't seem to conceptualize anything: no visions for interesting photographs, no melodies or lyrics to work with. I don't want to dwell on the problems of creative block, though. I'd rather try to pin down some solutions.

In no particular order:

• I need to get my earbuds out of my ears. I've written about it before, but for the last many years I've listened to a lot of podcasts. This is ok for learning and entertainment, and an illusion of company and conversation, but audio also fills in a lot of the moments when creativity can happen. If I want to break out of a creative block, I need to make room in my mind for creative possibilities, rather than listening to others' creations all the time.
• I need to make deliberate time for creativity. This might mean I need to sit down and practice piano every day, or it might mean I need to sit with my guitar, or it might mean I need to work with a sketchbook to imagine possibilities for photography. But I need to set aside time for it, even though my days feel so busy.
• I need to make sure I'm keeping up with exercise. Over the last couple weeks, due to the omicron variant of covid-19, gyms have been closed here in BC. I don't really like working out if I'm not at the gym, and the weather's been too miserable to go for runs outside. But I need to make the time and deliberately keep up with my exercise. So much of my muscle mass has faded since moving in with my partner, just because I now need to share my schedule with someone, and because I've had to spend so much time in the car. I need to make deliberate time for exercise.
• Speaking of the car, I need to get a trustworthy vehicle ASAP. I don't want to write about it here because it would be boring and tedious, but car trouble has taken up an inordinate amount of my time over the last few months. I need to get that sorted out so I stop stressing about vehicles.
• I need to stop taking courses for a bit. Over the past year, I've taken two post-grad courses: an introduction to school counseling course and an introduction to Special Education in BC course. I've learned a lot, but it's exhausting to spend so much time dedicated to something that zaps so much creativity. 

With those notes, it's clear that I have an issue with time. I think I'm particularly bad at organizing my time when I have a partner because I don't like rushing, and partners need lots and lots of quality time. I've learned that the hard way over the years, that the less time you provide to your partner, the worse the relationship gets. However, all of my creative and exercise activities are rather non-partner-specific. I still haven't found a way to balance my partnered and solo activities. 

I miss creating. I miss feeling like I wrote a worthwhile song, or took an interesting photo. Here's to hoping that, as the days get longer, my creativity can flourish again.

I've done a few new-ish things with my life, so I should update my info here on the weblog.

Firstly, in September 2021 I moved from New Westminster, where I'd lived from March 2020, to Ladner, BC, in a different corner of town. My partner and I moved from a loud, large apartment, to a quiet, cozy farmhouse. It's a quaint place that the locals often seem to recognize as a landmark of sorts. It's taken time to get used to living in a home with so few electrical outlets, but on the whole it's been very nice. It's not an easy home to keep heated, but it will be great in the summer. We also have a large lawn that should be helpful for hosting and for photographs. I'm looking forward to creating more there as time progresses.

Secondly, after 14 years or so working in School District #78 (Fraser-Cascade), I've started working in School District #36 (Surrey). Currently I work as an "Integration Support Teacher," a teacher who helps to support students with exceptional needs as we aim to integrate them into the classroom. For the first time I'm working in an elementary school full-time. It's completely different from my previous positions--I've mainly been a secondary school English and Social Studies teacher--and a change is just what I needed. Admittedly, I'm struggling to make sense of the job quite a bit, but I'm grateful for the change nonetheless.

Those are the main changes in my life right now. There are other personal things too personal to write here, but overall I'm in a good place. 

I haven't found a gig to work at or anything like that. I miss playing live at the restaurant, like I did a few years ago in Harrison Hot Springs. However, I don't really know where to look these days, and being a teacher in a new position is often extremely tiring. Perhaps I'll be able to find a gig as the days start getting longer again.